What I know about Australians

This is an attempt to answer the great blog-article What I Know About Germans by an Australian blogger reacting her(him?)self to an article about Germans by a British blogger. Since it’s been over 10 years that I had the chance to meet people from this wonderful country (yes, I know – solemn. But it is simply wonderful.), it would be simply GREAT, if you could send me things I could add to this more than incomplete list. Anyway, these are the things I remember:

  1. Australians are a lot calmer when talking about their future, probably because they have…
  2. … a lot more space and (seemingly) time. They don’t have to do everything at once, which is why…
  3. They actually take traffic signs seriously. Let me repeat: if a sign says that you’ve got to slow down, THEY DO! IMMEDIATELY. (A German driver would take as much time as needed to look for the next sign that tells him to accelerate again).
  4. In the outback, however, Australians seem to miss no opportunity to knock down some of their cute animals…
  5. …which can be found nearly anywhere.
  6. Australians go to the pub during times Germans would eat lunch…
  7. …and play billiard, lots of billiard, which actually doesn’t get boring, because they actually do it…
  8. …together. (This may come as a surprise, but me and my friend, having returned to Germany tried to actually play together with other people – who gave us a sympathetic look that said: we are so sorry that you don’t have friends to play with, but we are not going to be the ones.) Even as a German it’s simply impossible to go into a pub without immediately meeting a nice and talkative person, even though this may result in…
  9. …talking about different forms of orgasms with people you’ve just met.
  10. Even the guys in Australia keep on talking, especially…

11. … in the bathroom: there, they show their tattoos, talk about their drinks (Cooper’s pale ale – took me ages to be able to pronounce that correctly) and – guess what – the women.

12.  Australian girls know what they are able to do – in the broad sense. And this can be pretty intimidating.

13. They take what they want and they want it all.

14. Even though they can also wait for it (2.)

15. Australians drink as much tea as the English…

16. …even if it’s 50 degrees Celsius outside and…

17. …inside, because the walls of most houses as thin as paper…

18. …which is ok, when you have the chance to lie in front of the fridge at least once a day.

19. Australians don’t seem to know that other places on earth may not nearly be as beautiful as theirs…

20. …which is why they are not only friendly and talkative, but extremely relaxed.

21. Australian girls drink a lot more beer than German girls (but I doubt whether they drink more than their English counterparts).

22. Even if some German weirdos break in their paradise to add at least a bit of German eagerness to the Australian relaxation.

23. Addition: an Australian guy told me that when he wants to hook up, he just says that he is from Australia (then we had to finish the talk, because, well, a girl had heard him say this). It goes like: „Where are you from?“ „Germany.“ „Uh, ok, nobody is perfect.“ „And you.“ „Australia.“ „What? Where there? Do you want to marry me?“

I’m looking forward to your additions…

 

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